AFTER A WHILE YOU LEARN
THAT LOVE DOESN'T MEAN LEANING,
THAT KISSES AREN'T CONTRACTS, AND PRESENTS AREN'T PROMISES....
AND YOU BEGIN TO ACCEPT DEFEATS
WITH YOUR HEAD UP AND YOUR EYES OPEN,
WITH THE GRACE OF A WOMAN, NOT THE GRIEF OF A CHILD.
SO YOU PLANT YOUR OWN GARDEN
AND DECORATE YOUR OWN SOUL,
INSTEAD OF WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO BRING YOU FLOWERS.
AND YOU LEARN THAT YOU CAN ENDURE...
THAT YOU REALLY ARE STRONG
AND YOU REALLY DO HAVE WORTH,
AND THAT WITH EVERY NEW TOMORROW
COMES THE DAWN.
1984 HALLMARK CARDS INC
BETTER YET... I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST... HE WILL NOT LEAVE ME... HE WILL NOT FORSAKE ME...HE WILL MAKE ALL THINGS RIGHT!
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Spiritual Inventory
Oh No! Not that!,
Yep!
This week in what we affectionately call "CR" (Celebrate Recovery) we discussed
Principal 4:
Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust. Happy are the pure in heart. Matthew 5:8a (TEV)
Step 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. Lamentations 3:40 (NIV)
This is probably the hardest Principal and Step of Recovery. For one, our Pride gets in the way and we don't want to admit that we have done wrong or that we are
weak. We are afraid to let others see who we really are. Afraid of disappointing others and not being liked. Some people have a hardened heart and don't have the ability to forgive, they hold bitterness deep inside.
We need to turn to GOD to HEAL and RESTORE us and not lean on someone else to save us!
We basically have three basic characters, that of the one we tell ourselves, the one we tell others and then the one we really are.
Satan's Lie is that our self worth is based on our performance and ability to please others.
Our Attitudes are based on our....
Relationships with Other People.
"Forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us. Don't bring us into temptation, but deliver us from the Evil One." Matthew 6:12-13
Our Priorities in Life
"He will give them to you if you give him first place in your life and live as he wants you to." Matthew 6:33 LB
Your ability to Forgive
"Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort." Ephesians 4:31 GNB
Your Integrity
"Do not lie to each other. You have left your old sinful life and the things you did before." Colossians 3:9 NCV
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Heavy Heart - Letting go is hard!
I wish I had more time to spend writing on my blog! More time to do many things! There just never seems to be enough time in the day. You have your mind set at doing one thing, then something else seems to come up and get in the way. For me, it never fails!! But, I have got to do something to get myself better organized.
I think to start, I have to get myself back in good mental condition. This past week has not been a good one for me as far as Friendships are concerned. Friendships and Work don't seem to go together well. Especially when you work closely in the same office and you both have very strong personalities, and when one has a personal relationship with Christ and one does not.
What was once a really good friendship no longer exists. Not because I want it that way, but because they want it that way. They don't know the true meaning of forgiveness because they hold on to bitterness and anger in their heart. And it is not necessary. Unfortunately this person also told me that they were tired of this "religious phase" of mine, that they know who and what I am really like. Boy if that wasn't a knife in the heart. Not because there is any trueth to it, but because this person was once a friend and I truly love and care about this person and her family. I was crushed. This person has NO CLUE!!!! BUT, I know the only thing I can do is to continue to pray for this person. Pray that God will break through her rock hard heart and she will find her way to the Lord.
I think this might also be the case with the other person. They seem to know the Lord, but I question if they really have a personal relationship with him. I don't think they realize what they do to the people around them. I don't think they really care. Again, all I can do is pray for them and move on with my life! It would be detrimental for me to continue to try and work on these relationships. I know that I need to cut my loses and move on, but it doesn't hurt any less.
Well, that is about all I want to say right now! Maybe I can get some sleep now! It has been a rough week and a really rough day! I am off to read some scripture and hopefully get some sound sleep with the few hours that are left.
Beth
I think to start, I have to get myself back in good mental condition. This past week has not been a good one for me as far as Friendships are concerned. Friendships and Work don't seem to go together well. Especially when you work closely in the same office and you both have very strong personalities, and when one has a personal relationship with Christ and one does not.
What was once a really good friendship no longer exists. Not because I want it that way, but because they want it that way. They don't know the true meaning of forgiveness because they hold on to bitterness and anger in their heart. And it is not necessary. Unfortunately this person also told me that they were tired of this "religious phase" of mine, that they know who and what I am really like. Boy if that wasn't a knife in the heart. Not because there is any trueth to it, but because this person was once a friend and I truly love and care about this person and her family. I was crushed. This person has NO CLUE!!!! BUT, I know the only thing I can do is to continue to pray for this person. Pray that God will break through her rock hard heart and she will find her way to the Lord.
I think this might also be the case with the other person. They seem to know the Lord, but I question if they really have a personal relationship with him. I don't think they realize what they do to the people around them. I don't think they really care. Again, all I can do is pray for them and move on with my life! It would be detrimental for me to continue to try and work on these relationships. I know that I need to cut my loses and move on, but it doesn't hurt any less.
Well, that is about all I want to say right now! Maybe I can get some sleep now! It has been a rough week and a really rough day! I am off to read some scripture and hopefully get some sound sleep with the few hours that are left.
Beth
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
We can do All things Through Christ!
My God is an Awesome God! What a wonderful weekend we had at the Louis Palou "Tampa Bay Festival"!!! Rain and all! I wasn't about to let a little rain stop me from enjoying the Lord's celebration! It was fantastic! I counseled 5 people Saturday, three teens and a Mother and her teen daughter. Sunday I counseled one woman and her boyfriend was counseled by a spanish speaker! THE Lord was working his Grace and Forgivness amongst many hearts!
Kirk Franklin and Chris Tomlin were the absolute Bomb on Sunday!! I have never been so moved and spirit filled by music in all my life!!! I came out of the Festival feeling like a new person myself!! As I was asked by many people, I would like this to be a YEARLY EVENT!!!!!! Just absolutely Awesome!
I will write more later! I had to quickly write something!!!
Peace and Love,
Beth
Friday, February 23, 2007
TODAYS THOUGHTS ALL REVOLVE AROUND FORGIVENESS AND TRYING TO HEAL FROM MY HURTS!!
In most ways, I have not been this happy in I don't know when. And It is not just "happiness", its "JOY" that I am filled with. Happiness can come and go. But the Joy you get from the Lord is yours forever!!!!!!
Its been a pretty good couple of days at work! God has been really working through me to help others and making a difference in a few lives. That is the Joy that I have been filled with. That God would use me to do his work! It is humbling and awesome! I have really enjoyed my job the past week and I pray that it will continue! There are so many people out there that need to be "touched" by God! He needs all of us to help him do that!!
Though I have been on this spiritual high, I have also been slapped in the face with nagging thoughts of a conversation that I feel God has laid on my heart to have with someone. I have prayed about it, tried to think rationally about it, and yet my soul aches because I feel that there is unsaid business. In Fact, today's "Upper Room Devotional" even spoke of this.
Colossians 3:12-17 (NRSV)
As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns,and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
_________________________
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. - Colossians 3:13 (NIV)
_________________________
The main point of the Man's story with his wife (IN THE UPPER ROOM DEVOTIONAL) was this......
-------
"However, scripture's admonitions to forgive are clear and non-negotiable. To
withhold forgiveness would mean that I wanted to hurt her as she had hurt me. As long as I focused on my hurt feelings, whatever had precipitated her anger would remain unresolved. How many times has God forgiven me? I thought. I should do no less for my wife. Only when I was ready to forgive could we identify and resolve the real issue."
--------
Well that is how I feel with this person. I want to be able to speak face to face and offer my forgiveness and ask for his. Without doing that and without him understanding the Real Issue at hand, Nothing will ever be resolved. Mentally it feels like its killing me in ways.
I OFFER THE FOLLOWING, WHICH I PULLED OUT OF MY OLD NOTES FROM CHURCH. YES, I KEEP NOTES EVERY SUNDAY!! THANK GOD I DO! I REALLY NEED TO REFER BACK TO THEM AT TIMES. ANYWAY, THE NOTES ARE ON .....
"HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS"!
STEPS IN GOD'S HEALING PROCESS
1. REVEAL MY HURT
"I kept very quiet... but I became even more upset. I became very angry inside, and as I thought about it, my anger burned." Ps. 39:2-3 (NCV)
"When I kept things to myself, I felt weak deep inside me. I moaned all day long.." Ps 32:3 (NCV)
"You are only hurting yourself with your anger!" Job 18:4 (GN)
2. RELEASE THOSE THAT HURT ME!
"Never pay back evil for evil... never avenge yourselves. Leave that to
God, for He has said that He will repay those who deserve it".
Rom. 12:17 & 19 (LB)
"When Jesus suffered, He did not threaten to get even; He left His case in the hands of God..." 1 Peter 2:23 (LB)
"....A bitter spirit is not only bad in itself but can also poison the lives of many others." Hebrews 12:15 (Ph)
3. REPLACE OLD TAPES WITH GOD'S TRUTHS
"...Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." Rom 12:2b (NLT)
"...Through what Christ would do for us, God decided to make us holy in His
eyes, without a single fault - we stand before Him covered with His love".
Eph 1:4 (LB)
4. REFOCUS ON THE FUTURE
"Put your heart right, reach out to God....then face the world again firm and
courageous. Then all your trouble will fade from your memory, like floods that are past and remembered no more." Job 11:13-16 (GN)
"Look straight ahead with honest confidence; don't hang your head in
shame." Pr 4:25 (GN)
5. REACH OUT TO HELP OTHERS
"God comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble,
we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us" 2 Cor 1:4 (NCV)
"When someone becomes a Christian, he becomes a brand new person inside. He is not the same anymore. A new life has begun!" 2 Cor 5:17 (LB)
Its been a pretty good couple of days at work! God has been really working through me to help others and making a difference in a few lives. That is the Joy that I have been filled with. That God would use me to do his work! It is humbling and awesome! I have really enjoyed my job the past week and I pray that it will continue! There are so many people out there that need to be "touched" by God! He needs all of us to help him do that!!
Though I have been on this spiritual high, I have also been slapped in the face with nagging thoughts of a conversation that I feel God has laid on my heart to have with someone. I have prayed about it, tried to think rationally about it, and yet my soul aches because I feel that there is unsaid business. In Fact, today's "Upper Room Devotional" even spoke of this.
Colossians 3:12-17 (NRSV)
As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns,and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
_________________________
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. - Colossians 3:13 (NIV)
_________________________
The main point of the Man's story with his wife (IN THE UPPER ROOM DEVOTIONAL) was this......
-------
"However, scripture's admonitions to forgive are clear and non-negotiable. To
withhold forgiveness would mean that I wanted to hurt her as she had hurt me. As long as I focused on my hurt feelings, whatever had precipitated her anger would remain unresolved. How many times has God forgiven me? I thought. I should do no less for my wife. Only when I was ready to forgive could we identify and resolve the real issue."
--------
Well that is how I feel with this person. I want to be able to speak face to face and offer my forgiveness and ask for his. Without doing that and without him understanding the Real Issue at hand, Nothing will ever be resolved. Mentally it feels like its killing me in ways.
I OFFER THE FOLLOWING, WHICH I PULLED OUT OF MY OLD NOTES FROM CHURCH. YES, I KEEP NOTES EVERY SUNDAY!! THANK GOD I DO! I REALLY NEED TO REFER BACK TO THEM AT TIMES. ANYWAY, THE NOTES ARE ON .....
"HOW GOD HEALS YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS"!
STEPS IN GOD'S HEALING PROCESS
1. REVEAL MY HURT
"I kept very quiet... but I became even more upset. I became very angry inside, and as I thought about it, my anger burned." Ps. 39:2-3 (NCV)
"When I kept things to myself, I felt weak deep inside me. I moaned all day long.." Ps 32:3 (NCV)
"You are only hurting yourself with your anger!" Job 18:4 (GN)
2. RELEASE THOSE THAT HURT ME!
"Never pay back evil for evil... never avenge yourselves. Leave that to
God, for He has said that He will repay those who deserve it".
Rom. 12:17 & 19 (LB)
"When Jesus suffered, He did not threaten to get even; He left His case in the hands of God..." 1 Peter 2:23 (LB)
"....A bitter spirit is not only bad in itself but can also poison the lives of many others." Hebrews 12:15 (Ph)
3. REPLACE OLD TAPES WITH GOD'S TRUTHS
"...Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." Rom 12:2b (NLT)
"...Through what Christ would do for us, God decided to make us holy in His
eyes, without a single fault - we stand before Him covered with His love".
Eph 1:4 (LB)
4. REFOCUS ON THE FUTURE
"Put your heart right, reach out to God....then face the world again firm and
courageous. Then all your trouble will fade from your memory, like floods that are past and remembered no more." Job 11:13-16 (GN)
"Look straight ahead with honest confidence; don't hang your head in
shame." Pr 4:25 (GN)
5. REACH OUT TO HELP OTHERS
"God comforts us every time we have trouble, so when others have trouble,
we can comfort them with the same comfort God gives us" 2 Cor 1:4 (NCV)
"When someone becomes a Christian, he becomes a brand new person inside. He is not the same anymore. A new life has begun!" 2 Cor 5:17 (LB)
Thursday, February 22, 2007
God is Awesome!
Today was an awesome day at work!!! Actually I have been enjoying work more the past few weeks than I have in a long time! And of course, GOD is the one responsible for my rejoicing!!
I have asked for his help and it was there!! I have prayed and prayed and each time feel closer and closer to Christ. It is amazing how praying for your enemies does work. At least, it keeps me happy.
I have helped people and the enemy sits in envy. I see the enemy getting more and more frustrated and I just pray and pray for them more and more. I truly hope that they will find that soft place in their heart where they first chose to accept Christ and realize that they are not living hand in hand with him, but are fighting him.
I may come back and rewrite this later! I am so tired! I don't know that I wrote what I was really trying to say, or that I said it the right way. But feel free to comment anyway!
I have a new christian friend that I made today and she has quite the testimony to give! Hopefully she will be in Church on Sunday to give her testimony. She said she would be there. She goes to church on Saturday, She is a 7th day Adventist. She said she would come to watch the Movie as well!
LORD, YOU ARE SO AWESOME!!! KEEP MAKING THE CHANGES IN MY LIFE THAT YOU HAVE THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS. I NEED YOU IN MY LIFE SO MUCH!!! I CAN NOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU!!
KEEP HELPING ME TO STEP BEYOND MY COMFORT ZONE AND REACH OUT TO OTHERS IN YOUR NAME! I WANT TO SPREAD YOUR GLORIOUS NEWS TO THE TOPS OF THE EARTH & TO THE BOTTOMS OF THE SEA! YOU ARE ALL I NEED!! KEEP THAT THOUGHT IN MY BRAIN AND THE FEELINGS IN MY HEART AND DON'T EVER LET ME LOSE TRACK! AMEN!
I have asked for his help and it was there!! I have prayed and prayed and each time feel closer and closer to Christ. It is amazing how praying for your enemies does work. At least, it keeps me happy.
I have helped people and the enemy sits in envy. I see the enemy getting more and more frustrated and I just pray and pray for them more and more. I truly hope that they will find that soft place in their heart where they first chose to accept Christ and realize that they are not living hand in hand with him, but are fighting him.
I may come back and rewrite this later! I am so tired! I don't know that I wrote what I was really trying to say, or that I said it the right way. But feel free to comment anyway!
I have a new christian friend that I made today and she has quite the testimony to give! Hopefully she will be in Church on Sunday to give her testimony. She said she would be there. She goes to church on Saturday, She is a 7th day Adventist. She said she would come to watch the Movie as well!
LORD, YOU ARE SO AWESOME!!! KEEP MAKING THE CHANGES IN MY LIFE THAT YOU HAVE THE PAST COUPLE OF WEEKS. I NEED YOU IN MY LIFE SO MUCH!!! I CAN NOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU!!
KEEP HELPING ME TO STEP BEYOND MY COMFORT ZONE AND REACH OUT TO OTHERS IN YOUR NAME! I WANT TO SPREAD YOUR GLORIOUS NEWS TO THE TOPS OF THE EARTH & TO THE BOTTOMS OF THE SEA! YOU ARE ALL I NEED!! KEEP THAT THOUGHT IN MY BRAIN AND THE FEELINGS IN MY HEART AND DON'T EVER LET ME LOSE TRACK! AMEN!
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
FROM DARKNESS INTO LIGHT !!!
The following was in today's
UPPER ROOM DEVOTIONAL!
Very Powerful!!
You might want to consider subscribing to their "free" daily email devotional!
I found it to be an awesome place and God really talks to me through the scripture!http://www.upperroom.org/devotional/email/
_____________________________
FROM DARKNESS INTO LIGHT
_____________________________
1 John 1:5-7 (NRSV)This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light and in him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him while we are walking in darkness, we lie and do not do what is true;but if we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
______________________________
The psalmist wrote, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path."-
Psalm 119:105 (NIV)
______________________________ONE night during a span of harsh winter weather with snow and strong winds, I had almost finished my nightly shower when the power went out. In total darkness, I felt my way through the process of drying off and finding clothes to put on. I was relieved to discover that my knowing the location of each item before hand enabled me to "see" and find what I needed - even in the dark. At times the lights go out in our daily walk through life, when darkness enshrouds our way and we lose direction. But knowing that our perfect Helper is near, we are able through faith and prayer to focus on God's holiness, to follow God's light, and to once again make our way toward God's will and purpose. Prayer: Our holy Father, thank you for your many blessings and watchful care over us. Help us in dark times to trust you to take the lead as we pray, "Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
"*THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Even darkness is not dark to those who walk with God.--
Carl C. Whitfield (Kentucky, U.S.A.)
Friday, January 26, 2007
True Colors
Under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.
James 1:3 The Message
Sunday, January 21, 2007
What do you reflect?
As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the person.
Proverbs 27:19 NLT
Today I have done a lot of thinking about my life and where I am? Is it where I want? Is it where God wants me? Am I living by "Worldly Love" or by "Agape Love" (God's Love). Great Sermon we had today on this subject!!
I have to say that for the past three years I have definitly grown in God's Love. I did not trust myself to truly have faith in completely turning my life over to Christ before Coming to Tampa Baptist Church! But through the teaching I have received in "Small Group Studies", "Sunday School" and especially, great Sermons I have learned that God is AWESOME! HE is my FATHER!! I CAN talk to him like I did with my earthly father, but more so. I can talk to him as my best friend! When I am obediant to him and I live by his word, my prayers to him are fulfilled! God is true to his Word!! There is no doubt in my mind that my Lord and Saviour is proud of me as his Child!
I believe that I am reflecting God's Love more today than I did three years ago! I believe that three years from now I will reflect that Love Even More!!! I still need to stay in his word (The Bible) and continue to talk with him daily. Our relationship is the most important thing in life! But what I pray for most is that it will REFLECT to others and that they will want to know God's Love as well!
The love for others, helping others in need is more important than "Loving" Worldly possessions. What would you choose first... to give a dollar to a homeless man at McDonalds for a cup of coffee...or your sunday paper?
So the question today is "What are you reflecting in your life? Worldly Love or Agape Love".
Lord, I know that I am far from perfect! I know that I have a lot of growing still yet to do!! I pray for your guidance, your strength and your courage to continue to seek you first in my life and make you my first priority! I pray that you will be able to show others your LOVE FOR THEM through ME!!!!!!!!!! What an Awesome priviledge you have given us as believers!!
In Christ Name!
Amen
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
When all else Fails!!!
All we simply need to do is turn to God!! Actually, thats usually why all else fails! Because we have not put him first in our lives!! Remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experiance. And God is faithful. He will keep that temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it.
1 Corinthians 10:13 NLT
Monday, January 15, 2007
Todays Thoughts
I pray that my computer will continue to work first of all! Secondly, I pray that I will be able to manage to scrape together the money to upgrade my computer! I apparently need to upgrade my memory! I think I have that personal problem as well!!
Its not as easy as dumping out old unneeded files from your hard drive and they are gone for ever! Some how, some way something happens to remind us that they ocurred and it really messes up our mind! Come to think about it I guess it is like a computer hard drive, for if you don't know how to really permanently delete a file, chances are there is a copy somewhere on that hard drive!
Today and the past few days I have been thinking about making amends with someone for something they have no clue what they did. Something very simple caused me a set back and its all because of what that one situation brought about from my memories. Ones that I thought I had dealt with and closed the book on. I want to appologize to this person and explain some things to them but they make it very difficult. Actually, I'm the one who has probably made it difficult, because of course I have to do it in my way! But there are reasons for that as well.
I have been stepping out of my comfort zone a lot lately and I owe that to God's Grace!
Sometimes though I don't know exactly what God is trying to tell me! A situation could go either way. It gets very confusing! I usually tend to let something go and I wonder what if? Then if I deal with something and it turns out one way, I wonder What if the other? Confused? Well, I guess you understand me!
I often wonder IF things in the past had only been different I wouldn't have all these problems today! But I know that God meant for me to use these things for the good of all in some way! I am just trying to find that way! I just wish it wasn't so confusing or so difficult trying to find it or knowing if its in front of me or not!
Its not as easy as dumping out old unneeded files from your hard drive and they are gone for ever! Some how, some way something happens to remind us that they ocurred and it really messes up our mind! Come to think about it I guess it is like a computer hard drive, for if you don't know how to really permanently delete a file, chances are there is a copy somewhere on that hard drive!
Today and the past few days I have been thinking about making amends with someone for something they have no clue what they did. Something very simple caused me a set back and its all because of what that one situation brought about from my memories. Ones that I thought I had dealt with and closed the book on. I want to appologize to this person and explain some things to them but they make it very difficult. Actually, I'm the one who has probably made it difficult, because of course I have to do it in my way! But there are reasons for that as well.
I have been stepping out of my comfort zone a lot lately and I owe that to God's Grace!
Sometimes though I don't know exactly what God is trying to tell me! A situation could go either way. It gets very confusing! I usually tend to let something go and I wonder what if? Then if I deal with something and it turns out one way, I wonder What if the other? Confused? Well, I guess you understand me!
I often wonder IF things in the past had only been different I wouldn't have all these problems today! But I know that God meant for me to use these things for the good of all in some way! I am just trying to find that way! I just wish it wasn't so confusing or so difficult trying to find it or knowing if its in front of me or not!
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